"Differential Diagnosis"

Sunday afternoon I met up with Juli, my sister, and some of their friends at the local lake for some cliff diving action. ? There, I finally had an opportunity to tell her about my decision to cut back on the night life during the week and share my reasoning behind it. Of course, this meant I’d be spending less and less time with her, since I worked day shifts and she would always work & party nights, but we agreed it would work.

For the next few weeks, I would steal moments with Juli between our shifts, while spending the evening in my various martial arts classes and with one particular girl in the class. ? Late night swims, small get togethers, dinner, and destination less drives around town with this girl all seemed like the perfect get away from the smokey, noisy club scene I had tried all to hard to keep fitting into.

With Juli, at the club, it was all a fa??ade. ? The respect, the parties, the “friends”, they weren’t real. The club patrons befriended me only because of what I could do for them at that time and my elevated priveledges. ? The club staff held me in high regard because I was dating one of their bartenders, and doing my part to increase sales. ? With the martial art girl, I could always be myself. ? Her friends and the get togethers they invited us to were for nothing more than comradery, no strings attached, nothing was expected of me.

As time went on, I found myself more and more attached to martial arts girl and her way of life over Juli and the illusions of the club. ? In a small town like mine, rumors of infidelity spread quickly, so something had to be done…two very different girls, each leading down a very distinct path.

1. andhari says:

   May 14, 2009 at 12:49 pm

   “The club patrons befriended me only because of what I could do for them at that time and my elevated priveledges.”

   You sum up how I feel about my job perfectly. That’s why I have true friends outside I can actually call friends, I love partying but never seek for friends there.

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2. unbreakable says:

   May 14, 2009 at 3:19 pm

   Dude not all that glitters is gold, take your time and get to know both of these girls before you make the wrong move and loose both!….All the best and may the best girl wins!!

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3. MinD says:

   May 14, 2009 at 5:02 pm

   For some reason, I first read that as “Juli, my sister” and was really confused for a second. Damn. Clearly my mind is WAY off today.

   Anywho, leaving behind one girl for another is a sticky situation. There’s resentment involved and it’s hard to maintain a friendship with the old girl, in this case Juli, if she finds out you ditchd her for someone else. I say take it slow and ease into things if you’re going to transition. Less collateral damage that way, plus you’ll be able to take the time to make sure it’s what you really want to do.

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4. ScoMan says:

   May 15, 2009 at 2:09 am

   There’s nothing worse than feeling used, and it sounds like you felt a bit that way with the patrons and club staff.

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5. Dani says:

   May 15, 2009 at 7:35 am

   I think that sometimes we are too quick to fall for people. There is one thing that we like about them, and then we are drawn to them. Our preception of the person is based on one or two things. Once we start to really get to know them, and we see who they really are, and we are no longer drawn to them as much.

   I’m sure that you martial arts girl have way more in common than you and bar girl. The environment where you meet someone really sets the stage for the outcome of any friendship/relationship.

   Hope it works out for you!

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6. Krys says:

   May 16, 2009 at 4:20 pm

   It’s always said meeting people in bars is not the way to go. Maybe you’re proving this theory!

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7. ChinkyGirLMeL says:

   May 17, 2009 at 7:38 pm

   I say, take the time to know both girls. Maybe talk to Julie to get things straight between the two of you. People I meet at the club are people I just party with but my real friends are those outside of the club. The ones I can hang out with for coffee and girl talks… =)

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8. “Differential Diagnosis” » Fisticuffs says:

   May 18, 2009 at 10:41 am

   [...] Rumors of infidelity spread quickly, many originating from those so called “friends” at the club.  They would spread their vile behind our backs, and eventually the word would get to those involved. Neither of us dared address the situation, so we let it build to critical mass, hoping it would go away. [...]

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9. floreta says:

   May 18, 2009 at 1:21 pm

   two very different lifestyles and girls..

   so i’m not the only one who likes martial arts boys (in your case, girls)

   i’m sure i would like martial art girls too though. i have already. but she was too creepily young.

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