"Differential Diagnosis"

About seventh grade, middle school was when many of my friends and classmates suddenly seemed to have cash at their disposal. ? Lunch money, money for a bake sale later in the day, or simply spending cash given to them by their parents as something called an ???allowance.??? ? My pockets rarely held a single dime, and this idea of an ???allowance??? was completely foreign to my sister and I, and is still a practice that has never taken place within my home.

Hanging out at the mall, going to the movies, or frequenting the local skating ring became a normal afterschool activity for us middle schoolers and disposable income was definitely required to keep up.? So what???s??? a broke middle schooler to do to earn some cash? A simple interaction with a soon to be friend was all that was needed to spark me into action.

It???s amazing what some kids will do to obtain candy at all hours of the day, but at no point in time is their craving for sugary treats higher than during school hours. Of course, seeing as how sugary treats are normally prohibited in most classrooms, the demand for such items during class is exponentially high, and the risk of getting caught made the candy that much sweeter.

My English teacher that year used the enticing power of her candy stash to motivate her students to perform exceptionally well in her class. ? The students with the three highest grades on a test or special assignment always earned the privilege to raid the ???candy drawer??? as a special prize while the rest of us looked on with jealousy and contempt. Of course, being one of the smart ones in the class, access to her candy drawer was a frequent pleasure I indulged in time and time again.

After one particular trip to said candy drawer, a fellow called Ferny suddenly offered me a whole dollar for a single Hershey???s white chocolate nugget. Eagerly waving the dollar before me set off a cash register sound in my mind, ???ka-ching!??? The transaction was completed and I had officially earned my first dollar as a candy salesman!

From then on, I began to regularly sell the candy I had earned from her drawer, and at some point I was even taking pre-sale orders and deposits before I had even confirmed my place among the top 3 grade recipients. I had a constant, weekly flow of cash coming in and things were great!

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end, and thanks to one particularly indecisive customer, my English teacher caught on. ? I made my way to her desk to retrieve my prize already knowing exactly what this customer wanted, but as I reached in to select my customer???s candy???she yelled across the room, ???I changed my mind! Get me a kit-kat!??? With a puzzled look on her face, the teacher asked me why I was giving this girl my prize, and no answer came to me. ???See me after class.??? The dreaded statement!

I hurried back to my seat, handed the girl her candy, and sat in what seemed like a torturously long class. ? My mind drifted away from the lesson. What ill fate awaited me when the bell rang? ? Would I be cut off from her stash? ? How would I make money if that happened? ? Then suddenly, the bell rang and class was over.

I sat there as the rest of the students cleared out of the room, and that indecisive customer flashed her traitorous smile as she walked passed me. I had been setup! ? From day one, this female had given me grief about selling my rewards, and this was her way of destroying my fledgling enterprise. The room was now empty, and my English teacher made her way over to my desk???

1. Andhari says:

   June 10, 2009 at 12:28 pm

   MY GOD I WOULD HAVE SMACKED THAT GIRL. A lot of people like this when I was a kid too, they just tattle. Since I was a girl, if it’s a girl I just smack them lol or idk, spread nasty rumors about them . I was pretty bad with my temper back then. Often got called to the principle’s office

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2. ScoMan says:

   June 11, 2009 at 3:20 am

   You should have skipped over her order and moved on to the next customer.

   The teacher wouldn’t have suspected anything because she didn’t get her candy, and she missed out for ruining the whole thing.

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3. Dani says:

   June 11, 2009 at 7:37 am

   That is so funny…I can’t believe that you sold candy for cash. That cracks me up. I was never given an allowance as a child either…it was just expected that I did stuff. I started babysitting at for my neighbors was I was 9 years old. What crazy parent would trust a 9 year with 3 children?

   I can’t wait to here what happened. Stupid girl…I would of gotten back at her somehow.

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4. unbreakable says:

   June 11, 2009 at 9:46 am

   lol Well i guess the candy man got caugh with his hand in the cady Jar. Being in business you learn that not all customers are good customers.some are just a pain in the ass

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5. Justin says:

   June 11, 2009 at 9:57 pm

   What a C U Next Tuesday! The thing is that we all gotta make a buck and this broad probably didn’t have to be as creative as you to get her cash. She is probably selling her body these days for a few bucks.

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6. “Differential Diagnosis” » Taking One for the Team says:

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7. “Differential Diagnosis” » Middle School Business: New Backpack & New Idea says:

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8. OmegaRadium says:

   June 18, 2009 at 11:12 am

   @Andhari Karma will get her in the end, I’m sure of it.

   @ScoMan That would have been the best thing to do, but it simply didn’t occur to me at the time. Oh well!

   @Dani Babysitting simply wasn’t an option for young males…people tend not to trust young males with their kids.

   @unbreakable Many customers quickly become a pain in the ass, but if they bring money, you gotta deal with them somehow. :\

   @Justin You know, I’ve never stopped to think about where she is now. Despite her traitorous plan, she simply wasn’t that important.

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9. “Differential Diagnosis” » Middle School Business: Imports says:

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10. “Differential Diagnosis” » Middle School Business: Victim of My Own Success says:

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12. “Differential Diagnosis” » Middle School Business: Transporting & Distributing says:

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13. “Differential Diagnosis” » Middle School Business: Pink Slip Power Go! says:

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