I personally maintain quite a large contact list on my instant messenger applications, many of whom I’ve gotten to know exclusively online.  Over the years these online friends have come and gone, sometimes someone simply disappears one day without me ever noticing.  In a time where instantaneous global communication is possible, loosing contact with friends is a common occurrence that until recently I hadn’t really put much thought into.

Why think about it now?  A friend of mine asked if he/she was “influential” to me in any way, and if I’d notice if said person suddenly stopped appearing online.  Being a good friend, I naturally said what I was suppose to say, but the thought lingered.  Sure that person and I have had discussions about politics, our favorite TV series, work, and just life in general, but influential?  I don’t really know…

At the root of all friendships there must lie some common ground, whether it be video games, work, or sports, having some common interests will usually bring these people together.  In the “series of tubes” called the internet, its very easy to find a website/online community brought together by a common interest, no matter how strange or uncommon their interests are.  This has lead to the wide spread acceptance of things “normal” people wouldn’t generally accept.

Video games, comics, cosplay, anime/manga, role playing games, these were all things that society generally frowned upon at some point, but have been suddenly been thrust into the realm of normalcy with huge support and encouragement from the internet.  With such large amounts of supporters for every type of interest, its no surprise that people flock to the internet seeking friendship and perhaps even companionship.  Ken Lavine, creator of Bioshock, recently addressed this during his keynote speech at PAX08, “We’re united by a common element, but it’s not the color of our skin that brings us together, the political idealogy, or the country of our birth.   The thing that brings us (together) is that WE’RE A GIANT BUNCH OF F**KING NERDS!”

There in lies the problem with e-friendships, the availability of like minded people.  Back when gamers were considered “nerds”, it was a very rare encounter to find someone who also played games, which made that fellow gamer so much more special and worth hanging on to as a friend.  Now, you can walk into any Gamestop, and you’ll find a building full of proud gamers.  A fellow gamer is no longer a rarity, and thus a friendship based solely on ones interest in video games can easily be started and replaced by another.

The interesting thing about that is that as more and more people become interested in the same things, division is bound to happen.  Video gamers have become divided by genres like the ‘Shooter’, the ‘Real Time Strategy’, the ‘Role Playing Games’, and ‘Fighters’.  Star Wars fans continually to argue with Star Trek fans, but as Sci-Fi fans, they will team up to defend the genre, ultimately its these very divisions that unite us in the face of a common enemy.

So when looking to make a true impact on the mentality of a friend, I suggest using the differences between you to your advantage.  Expose him/her to something different, and perhaps soon that person will join you in that interest, making you forever responsible for the evolution of that interest in said person, and the contributions that will come from that.  While I may not keep in touch with all my old friends, I’ll never forget who it was that first introduced me to video games and martial arts, they made a difference in my life.  The same goes for friends who have introduced me to things that I normally wouldn’t have tried on my own, wether it be tv shows, foods, or even trips to various locations, these things won’t be forgotten.

Technorati Tags: Divisions, Friends, Like Minded People, Unity