"Differential Diagnosis"

Day after day, I attended PT with my coworkers and did the best that I physically could with a pulled hamstring. My performance was on par with most of the folks currently "on profile" for injuries. I was one of the last few to finish the runs, always in the back of the formation, and constantly under performing in most things we did. In other words, truly pathetic!

As my leg slowly recovered, I was able to push myself harder and harder, but soon found myself unwilling to do so. Why? Because I had reached a point where if I pushed harder, I would easily surpass my initial motivation for attending PT…that girl.

Hanging at the back of any PT formation, maintaining a slow and easy pace, allowed this girl and I to get to know each other much faster. Sure, she and I would spend more than enough time together outside of work, but during those first few weeks, we couldn’t get enough, and PT just became another excuse to see each other.

At some point, I became a permanent fixture at PT with these folks and without realizing it, I had been completely assimilated into the group. My initial worries of "not fitting in" or "being treated like an outsider" were completely unfounded! I began to enjoy PT as much as I used to enjoy my time at the Taekwondo dojang.

Then suddenly, my single motivation for attending PT went home on leave for an entire week. In the hours leading up to my first PT session without her, I contemplated not attending. "With my motivation for attending gone, I won’t do my best." I thought to myself  in a feeble attempt to rationalize my decision. "I already don’t do my best because of her…screw it, I’ll go!"

With her not around for me to justify my sub par performance, I joined the squadron for PT and pushed myself to the max. During the run, I picked a single target to keep pace with. I picked, not from the slow folks, but rather one of the faster runners always in the front half. He and I started in the middle of the pack and slowly closed the distance between us and the runners in front.  "We gotta pass 3 more people." He’d say as we forced ourselves to speed up. "Half a mile to go, we’re almost there." He said when he noticed my pace slowing. I remember looking forward a couple yards ahead, and seeing my lieutenant. I looked over at my running partner with a large grin and said, "we gotta beat her." Almost immediately, our speed increased beyond what I thought I was capable of (after such distance) and we easily passed our target.

My sudden,seemingly overnight transition from a "weak runner" to an almost front of the pack runner caught my lieutenant’s eye. As the group disbanded and headed home, she came up to me with a concerned look on her face. "Why you hanging out in the back if you can run like that?" She asked. "I’m motivating the slower folks." I responded with a weak smile. "I want you in the front from now on, no more slacking."

In just one day, just like that, I had found a new source of motivation for attending PT. Not for that girl, not for my lieutenant, but for the personal satisfaction of surpassing my perceived limits. The sudden boost of energy and speed that seemed to radiate from within was something I had previously only experienced during intense martial arts sparring sessions or fights, I seem to have tapped into my "geki" during my run, and it felt good.

1. ScoMan says:

   November 4, 2009 at 12:54 am

   Motivation is one of the most important things in the world. With a bit of motivation channelled properly it’s amazing what we can accomplish.

   So next week you’ve gotta be further up the front.

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2. chinkygirlmel says:

   November 4, 2009 at 5:55 am

   Oh yey! Way to go. Doing something for yourself for others is good motivation but doing something for yourself because you really want to is the best motivation there is. It’s just like a smoker, if he quits for other people there’s always a chance he may go back to old habits but if he quits for himself, well that has a more positive outcome. =)

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3. MinD says:

   November 5, 2009 at 11:42 am

   Glad you found better motivation than a girl, hehe. And hey, maybe you can motivate her to do better, to become part of the front runners as well.

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4. steph says:

   November 6, 2009 at 9:28 pm

   Girls! LOL

   Hey, it’s a good thing you sped up, especially since it’s going to start getting cold!

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