"Differential Diagnosis"

“Bzzz! Bzzzzz! Bzzz!” My phone vibrated loudly just as I was stepping out of the shower. A text message from a girl, but not just any girl, this was the girl who’d motivated me to start working out with her and my coworkers. This was my accomplice for several fun filled weekends, and this weekend would be no exception. I ignored the text message for the time being, but quickly returned to it once I was shaved and dressed.

“Come by my place tonight, I have a surprise you won’t want to miss…bring drinks.” I smile a sly, devilish grin for a few moments as I thought to myself, “I love her surprises,” and gathered my wallet & keys. My first stop, the liquor store to pick up a few of our favorite drinks, then off to her place for my “surprise.”

Her place, a large co-ed dorm located on a military installation, is much like a typical college dorm on the inside, but it’s outward appearance is that of a quiet, orderly building. The hallways and common areas are homey and elegant, but within each private room a multitude of happenings goes on mostly unnoticed. From underage drinking, to adultery, and even domestic abuse, things aren’t always as nice and orderly as they may appear.

Standing at her door, drinks hidden discreetly in a duffel bag, I knock once. The door swings open, and I’m greeted by a marvelous sight! A skinny, toned, blonde wearing a pink, silk, Asian robe. “God I love that robe!” I thought to myself as she pulls me in for a kiss and slams the door with her foot.

With a quick flick of my wrist, the robe is undone, and with another gentle motion, the robe drops to the floor, revealing even more of her for me to explore. Minutes later, a knock at the door. “Shit! I invited some friends to come drink, go answer the door while I get dressed,” she said as she rushed into her bathroom and locked the door.

I hesitantly make my way to the door and almost let out an audible gasp when I see the two gorgeous girls standing outside. “Let’s drink!!” they shout as they walk inside. As I introduce myself to the two new guest, I reach for the contents of my duffel bag and begin pouring some drinks.

Bathrobe girl steps out in a smashing outfit just as another knock at the door is heard. Two guys walk inside with an assortment of liquor and beer. Hours of drinking and misconduct ensue as more and more people begin to arrive. The tiny dorm room is filled with people neither bathrobe girl, nor I have even met before, yet we’re all having a blast!

Suddenly, a thunderous knock on the metal door is heard! “KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!” A random guy standing by the entrance opens the door while still sipping on his beer. “Military police!!” is heard just as the door is slammed open and multiple military police officers fill the the already overcrowded dorm room.

The females are lined up on one side of the room, with the males lined up on the other. The females are asked to step out the door, one at a time, while their military I.D.s are checked on the way out. Bathrobe girl is at the end of the female line, and is still not within drinking age. One by one, the females are escorted out the door. If they’re 21 or older, they’re told to go home, if not…they’re cuffed and put into the van parked outside. My heart sank as I watched them cuff bathrobe girl and take her away.

Next up, the males. While I’m clearly within drinking age, my military ID card is quite different from the rest of them. I’m not a member of the military, but I’ll be punished just the same, if not worse. Underage drinking had been a major pet peeve of the new base commander, and someone of my position providing alcohol to a minor on HIS base would not be taken kindly. Termination from my position is what surely awaited me, and never have I been more certain as they notice the major differences in my military ID and radio a separate patrol car to come deal with me.

*** 24 Hours Prior ***

It was Thursday night, and as usual, I was attending Kenpo and practicing diligently. “Everybody line up!” the senior student shouted, and everyone formed up in lines at attention. The instructor picked up his bible and began reading a few lines of scripture. This was a relatively new practice he had just begun the week before. Read a few lines, then interpret the meaning to help us understand.

‘Everyone is capable of doing good, but many of us don’t get the opportunity to do so. Well wishes and good intents are often intercepted by the devil in an effort to veer us off course. How many times have you planned to attend a charity function, church, or volunteer, only to have something unexpected come up and preventing you from attending?

The same thing can happen with your life’s goals. One wrong move, one wrong turn, and you may end up someplace you never intended to be. Everyone deserves a second chance, yes, but if you’re careful and follow God’s path, you will never need that second chance.’

Having attended a private, Catholic school the majority of my youth, I was usually pretty familiar and as a result, disinterested in his reading & interpretation of scripture, but tonight was different. Tonight, the message reverberated in my mind over and over again.

*** 24 Hours Later ***

“Bzzz! Bzzzzz! Bzzz!” My phone vibrated loudly just as I was stepping out of the shower. A text message from a girl, but not just any girl, this was the girl who’d motivated me to start working out with her and my coworkers. This was my accomplice for several fun filled weekends, and this weekend would be no exception. I ignored the text message for the time being, but quickly returned to it once I was shaved and dressed.

“Come by my place tonight, I have a surprise you won’t want to miss…bring drinks.” I smile a sly, devilish grin for a few moments as I thought to myself, “I love her surprises,” and gathered my wallet & keys. My first stop would be the liquor store to pick up a few of our favorite drinks, then off to her place for my “surprise.”

I got into my truck, closed the door and suddenly my Kenpo instructor’s message from the night before echoed in my head. “One wrong move, one wrong turn, and you may end up someplace you never intended to be.” I brushed it off and started the vehicle. As the engine roared to life, I suddenly felt uneasy about my evening plans.  The girl is a ton of fun, but clearly not someone God, nor my Kenpo instructor would approve of. In fact, I didn’t really approve of her. She was just someone to “have fun with.”

I reread her text message a few times, “Come by my place tonight, I have a surprise you won’t want to miss…bring drinks.” Then thought back to my instructor’s words last night. Drinking with a minor on a military installation, exactly one week before my 1st 5k suddenly didn’t seem like such a great idea. I shut off the engine and replied back to this girl, “I’m in training for a 5k, so I’m staying away from drinking. Have a good time!”

Monday morning at work, the office is abuzz with whispers of a major underage drinking bust by the MPs (Military Police) Friday night. Rumor has it that many of our own were involved and meeting with the base commander personally for punishment.

Later that afternoon, bathrobe girl walked into my office in tears and told me how it all went down. I listened in complete shock as the story unfolded, the entire time thinking to myself, “That could have been me…”

1. ScoMan says:

   January 17, 2010 at 1:15 am

   Wow. You are incredibly lucky.

   And the first part of the post was great too, I believed you were actually there. Very well written and it will make me rethink almost every decision I make from now on.

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2. TOPolk says:

   January 17, 2010 at 8:55 am

   Whew… *wipesbrow* From the sounds of your story, your post title was extremely appropriate. Man, talk about a close one.

   BTW, very nicely told story. I liked the setup, flashback, then apparent snap back into reality. If this were facebook, I’d hit the “like” button right now.

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3. Dani says:

   January 18, 2010 at 11:46 am

   That was very well written…

   You should be proud of yourself for the desicion you made!!!

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4. Unbrekable says:

   January 20, 2010 at 2:51 pm

   Lol you miss it by the skin of your teeth dude.

   I often hear those voices in my head when i am about to yield to temptation and i never listen, its great to see that at least this one time you were on the lucky side.

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5. MinD says:

   January 20, 2010 at 4:09 pm

   For a second there, I was super scared for you. Amazingly well written hun.

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6. chinkygirlmel says:

   January 21, 2010 at 5:49 am

   Oh wow! AMAZING. I really thought you had brought in some liquor and really got caught, but then again, I shoulda known you were better than that. =)

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7. andhari says:

   January 21, 2010 at 12:59 pm

   You’re absolutely so much better than me in resisting temptations. Good for you! The first part is pretty much really sexy though

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8. steph says:

   January 24, 2010 at 9:15 pm

   Whoa, way to stay on top of your game!

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