I stumbled across a technology blog that was giving away a pretty great laptop a week or so ago. The author asked everyone interested to submit a short, concise, story describing how that laptop would improve their productivity and lives. No where did he state it had to be true…below is my short story entry.

Ever since before I can remember, I’ve been preparing myself for the inevitable invasion of earth by some strange Sci-Fi creatures. Traumatized by years of media featuring creatures of all shapes, sizes, and origins has left me scarred for life.

Inventorying the weapons and weekly target practice is just a normal part of my weekly schedule, along with Martial Arts training three times a week! Plenty of food and water stored in a basement, and a four wheel drive truck/mobile command centre capable of crossing rivers, I’m ready! Or so I thought…having seen this wonderful piece of technology, I have discovered the potential benefits of its use in my preparations, and wish to procure one to integrate into my mobile command centre immediately.

No hero can fight off an alien invasion or underground monsters without knowing his enemy. My strategies and analysis of these potential invaders have come from careful study of their anatomy and weapons via VHS & DVD. However, with the aid of a high definition format, like Blue Ray, I will be capable of obtaining a much clearer and precise view of the invaders to aid my studies and refine my attack strategies. Taking out an evil ghostly pirate ship may be common knowledge in the ‘old days’, but these days one must be properly prepared using modern means.

No one can guarantee that earth’s future occupiers will be from any high budget film, so for this I must be prepared to analyze the possible threats presented in low budget films that occasionally air on cable. With the aid of a machine capable of storing and archiving this data for future analysis, I will be ensured that even low budget ‘cable’ creatures are not spared my wrath.

Video games can serve as prime simulations used to refine/learn new skills, and train potential recruits in the defense and liberation of earth. Some games even serve as an inspiration for new and previously unheard of weapon’s innovations, like the chainsaw bayonet, which has quickly become a staple in my weapons cache. We also mustn’t forget the possibility of these PC game inspired creatures turning hostile. Very few people are capable of taking down an evil Horsetachio. With proper training using this laptop, Horsetachio zombie doesn’t stand a chance!

I will do my best to defend and liberate this planet with or without it, but with the odds heavily stacked against humanity, we could use all the help we can get. Acquiring this laptop isn’t merely for my benefit, but for the benefit of all mankind! Thank you, and stay safe!