"Differential Diagnosis"

Written sometime in 2009:

The heart, it resides within the very core of our bodies and silently manipulates many of our actions on a daily basis. One of the many organs which our lives depend on, but the one organ from which love blossoms; beating from the earliest stage of our life???s development until the very end. Its no wonder why so many different cultures place such significance upon the heart.

***

My mind, so focused on various objectives and martial arts has grown strong, and it has instilled in me a strong sense of self and determination unbreakable by any challenge.

However, my heart, has been nudging me towards taking other actions.  My mind, thoughtful as maybe, simply refused to acknowledge what my heart wanted.

I write my blog entries straight from the heart, and as obvious as it may have been, I refused to take action out of fear. The girl at the bar on New Year’s Eve, my unfamiliar muse, the homework herculean figure,  and my primary inspiration for the entire Green Ranger series of posts: A Kid’s Lesson in Courtship, Team Dynamics, and especially Origins of Power &  Midnight Oven Mitts. These aren’t multiple girls, but rather a single person.  Its hard to believe that a single girl has this much influence on my heart and body; yet still I’m struck with unshakable fear when thoughts of making my move cross my mind.

Thinking things thoroughly, analyzing my options, beauty in words & actions, mind over matter, this is me.  However, one’s mind cannot accomplish everything alone.  In order for true beauty to arise, the heart must back the actions conducted by the mind and performed by the body. The orchestra & the conductor, they are obsolete if they have no passion for the music! I am off to sync my heart & mind in order to make music…wish me luck.

Present Day Addendum: (Dec 14, 2009)

My personal words to live by as posted above, ???thinking things thoroughly, analyzing my options, beauty in words & actions, mind over matter?????? nothing is going to change that. However, there comes a time when a decision must be reached, and an action initiated! "If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done." -Bruce Lee

I decided to take action and finally make my move! Fear of failure, fear of losing my inspiration, just overall fear, I wasn???t about to let it continue. If the undead conductor and his orchestra aren???t enough indication as to the results, then do me a favor and just skip this entry all together.

Getting my heart, mind, and body back in sync did wonders for me. Unfortunately, the negative response to my actions practically destroyed my blogging inspiration for quite some time. Misery seems to inspire people in ways happiness doesn???t, or so I thought at the time. These days, it seems quite the opposite.

1. andhari says:

   December 14, 2009 at 2:18 pm

   Those are such inspiring words to close your post, seriously. I’ve been in a funk these days. Taking actions doesn’t sound easy but it’s necessary don’t you think. I wish I could get that extra push.

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2. Stephanie says:

   December 14, 2009 at 9:06 pm

   Sorry, JJ

   I need some inspiration…my heart is feeling rather mechanical these days.

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3. ScoMan says:

   December 15, 2009 at 1:45 am

   The negative response is a bummer, but at least you fired the orchestra up and gave it a shot.

   Sounds like I need to get to pushing the three of you. I’ve only got two arms though, so if two of you could stand in a line and I’ll push the other with the other arm and we’re set.

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