"Differential Diagnosis"

Spend any amount of time in a club, and you’ll quickly learn that everything in there is a sham to keep you spending money.? From the moment you enter the building, they’re already working you.? The cover charge, the free peanuts, the “specials,” VIP areas, bottle service, and even the girls.

Bartenders have their game face on as soon as they punch in, and many of them go the extra mile to earn their tips.? Overly excessive flirting, skimpy little outfits,and a free drink every now and then, can make all the difference between a “good night” and a “horrible night” for tips. “Nothing personal, its just business.” I’ve been told.

It takes a special kind of person to sit there and watch a person you’re married to, engaged with, or dating, openly flirt with random people while wearing skimpy little outfits. Had my ex-girlfriend been doing that, I would have honestly felt uneasy about it, but with Juli,? every time she turned down a drunken playboy, I felt more and more empowered knowing she was coming with me at the end of the night.? Night after night, chumps would willingly hand over wads of cash in exchange for overpriced drinks and a chance to flirt with a girl they knew only as “Sarah”.? Yup, a common security precaution employed by the club waitresses and bartenders, fake names.

One busy Saturday night, my sister and Juli, exit the club several hours after closing. The parking lot is practically deserted, besides one cop car and the club staff’s personal vehicles. Both girls declined security’s offer to escort them, since my sister’s car was just a few paces away. Juli, having made plans to crash at our place, follows closely along side my sister.

Meanwhile, having just heard a few hours earlier of Juli’s plans for the night, I was home doing the best I could to clean my room & bathroom. It had been ages since I had a girl over at my place, and residue from the months of solitary confinement were still clearly evident. Cleaning my room, with a slight buzz, at three in the morning…the things I do for women.

They reach the car and split to their respective sides, my sister sticks the key into the driver side door just as a hand reaches out from behind her and slams her head onto the roof of the car. *Thud* Juli races over to her aide and lands a few punches to the body of their attacker, before getting knocked to the ground.

With the precious few seconds Juli distracted their assailant, my sister shakes off the daze and turns to face the attacker. A young girl of a rather large build stands angrily over Juli.? Olga, as I’d like to call her,? turns and faces my sister just moments before she rushes towards her petite enemy. A barrage of furious, beastly punches is unleashed upon my poor, sweet little sister…

Unfortunately for Olga, my sister isn’t quite as sweet and lovely as one might think. Punch after punch, my sister deflected and dodged without ever taking a hit. Olga realized her punches were ineffective and resorted to her final attack.? She raised her hands up high, grasping for my sister’s hair! Finally seeing her opening, my sister launched her retaliation! Multiple punches to the face, followed by a round house kick to her ribs, and Olga falls over in agony just as the officers in the parked police car and the club’s security arrived to assist.

Olga was taken away in handcuffs, and neither Juli nor my sister were injured. The years of playful fighting between my sister and I have made her pretty resilient to attack.? Also, she currently holds the same belt ranking as I do in Taekwondo…boy did Olga pick the wrong duo to mess with that night!

We later found out that Olga attacked after witnessing the bartending duo openly flirting with “her man.” Obviously a woman like Olga had no chance of competing with either? Juli or my sister in the looks department, so she chose to remedy the situation by attacking them like a ninja in the darkness. How sad that some people can’t control their emotions and end up in a fight because of it.

1. ChinkyGirLMeL says:

   April 16, 2009 at 9:45 am

   Ouch for Olga! I’m glad juli and your sis are both ok. Good thing your sis was in Taekwondo. =)

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2. andhari says:

   April 16, 2009 at 6:32 pm

   Geez. I hate girls like that. I mean, jealous much and then physically assault? Girls like that wont keep guys. Ever. Your sis rocks.

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3. unbreakable says:

   April 16, 2009 at 9:13 pm

   You told the story so vivid its as if you were right there taking in every minute of the fight, nice writing dude, good job to kick ass duo of sis and GF

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4. Ella says:

   April 16, 2009 at 10:10 pm

   How looks of sweetness deceive people..
   and how unwise of Olga to actually be deceived.. =)

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5. Delilah says:

   April 17, 2009 at 12:29 am

   Wow. That story had me on the edge of my seat! Many people don’t realize how unsafe a place can be until something like that happens. I’m pretty jealous that your sister was able to defend herself. Maybe I should pick up TKD?

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6. ScoMan says:

   April 17, 2009 at 5:08 pm

   It’s funny when people attack others at random without knowing anything about them. Usually the attacker ends up seriously hurt.

   I remember in high school a girl with all her friends cornered one of the quiet girls one day and started pushing her around. I don’t know why, I guess she just wanted to feel big. The quiet girl just sat there and took it for awhile before, without warning just threw a punch that landed hard and knocked her attacker out cold.

   The other girls just stood there in awe and stepped aside to let her walk through them and leave.

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7. OmegaRadium says:

   April 19, 2009 at 8:36 pm

   @ChinkyGirLMeL Ouch for Olga indeed! My sister is tough.

   @andhari Haters, what can you do? Oh, and my sis only rocks sometimes!

   @unbreakable Thanks for the compliment! I’ve heard that story from so many diff people so many times, I almost do feel like I was there.

   @Ella Sweetness does deceive people…thanks for commenting!

   @Delilah Glad I could tell a compelling story! Any style of self-defense is important to have. Even if it is just one of two moves, you never know when they could help you escape a bad situation.

   @ScoMan Its always best to know exactly what your getting yourself into…

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8. floreta says:

   April 20, 2009 at 2:03 am

   totally badass!!

   as for juli and the whole flirting thing while she comes home with you at the end of the night: NOT that i’m a big flirt or popular with the boys (haha), but i’d want a relationship a little more independent like that, i think. just so i can “feel” less confined. and i’m pretty sure that guys clean their rooms for girls all the time. it’s a given.

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9. Krys says:

   April 21, 2009 at 10:21 am

   Oh my gosh!!!!!! This is so crazy! My brothers both work at the same bar (as well as two cousins and other friends) and it’s so hard sometimes to know stuff like this happens! I’m glas they weren’t hurt but I’m sorry they had to go through that!

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