"Differential Diagnosis"

The excitement of finding someone new to connect with, the nervousness that engulfs your body as you make your approach, the extreme curiosity that develops as you get to know each other, and ultimately the raw sexual magnetism between two terrestrial bodies. The beginning stages of a relationship are often the most exciting, but sadly it’s short lived.

Before you truly know that person, they’re often the embodiment of your ideal partner, perfect in every which way. Your conscious brain tells you, “It’s too good to be true…investigate!” , and investigate you do.

Searching for any scraps of relevant information, you go through their Facebook & MySpace profiles. You approach their friends and yours in hopes of catching any red flags, but we all know better…if any red flags do turn up, we’ll promptly ignore them and press on anyway.

As the relationship runs its course, the veil slowly comes off, revealing someone much less “perfect” than you once thought. The rainbows and butterflies begin their metamorphosis into thunderstorms and moths. Before you know it, the relationship is over, and you find yourself wishing you had been more careful with your heart, or perhaps paid more attention to those red flags you discovered earlier.

Such is the cynicism of a man frustrated with relationships and the deception associated with them.

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“Bzzz! Bzzzzz! Bzzz!” My phone vibrated loudly just as I was stepping out of the shower. A text message from a girl, but not just any girl, this was the girl who’d motivated me to start working out with her and my coworkers. This was my accomplice for several fun filled weekends, and this weekend would be no exception. I ignored the text message for the time being, but quickly returned to it once I was shaved and dressed.

“Come by my place tonight, I have a surprise you won’t want to miss…bring drinks.” I smile a sly, devilish grin for a few moments as I thought to myself, “I love her surprises,” and gathered my wallet & keys. My first stop, the liquor store to pick up a few of our favorite drinks, then off to her place for my “surprise.”

Her place, a large co-ed dorm located on a military installation, is much like a typical college dorm on the inside, but it’s outward appearance is that of a quiet, orderly building. The hallways and common areas are homey and elegant, but within each private room a multitude of happenings goes on mostly unnoticed. From underage drinking, to adultery, and even domestic abuse, things aren’t always as nice and orderly as they may appear.

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